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Location: Kazakhstan

I never seem to run out of things to say.

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and my interests include
cheesecake / life and love / sate/ baileys/ seafood/ pralines/ sheesha/ rollercoasters/ joyriding/ learn to sleep more/ writing/ vodka on the rocks/ menthol puffs/ mixing spices / manila / brunei / miri/ kk / good coffee / "i love you's" / moments / words / rainy days / airports / sunsets / spontaneity / beautiful shoes / food in all its forms / my baby brother / eyeliner / books / sweet SMS's / sucker for anything acoustic / laughter

Things To Do Before I Turn 22
Get that overdue drivers license

Visit a new country


Learn to cook

Live and love

Beautiful People
My Loved Ones

and you said...



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    While everything around me is ever changing, ever dying, there is underlying that change a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and recreates....For I can see in the midst of death, life persists, in the midst of untruth, truth persists, in the midst of darkness light persists ~Mohandas K. Gandhi Site Fights Spirit Counter

    twenty. loud. addicted to certain fandoms. reads fanfiction. likes to twist the written word. can talk about anything under the sun (and thats the problem). This blog is a compilation of my thoughts and my you know it wont be very interesting. ;)

    Wednesday, May 17, 2006

    "There was just a moment when things weren't quite the same, weren't quite as they had always been through the long friendship." –The Giver

    Like I said before, Brunei will always remain Brunei, and theres just something about going back that I cant put my finger on, but it just...rubs me the wrong way. And I guess though a large part of my childhood and adolescence, my entire life really, was spent there, its not really home anymore.

    Its like from the second I cross the border into Brunei, I hold my breath and its a series of reruns and Im not 20 years old anymore. Im not what I am in uni, Im 14 and back in my awkward adolescent period again, my self esteem is at a down low and I have to wait till Im safely back across the border in order to breathe.

    Not to say Im scared in Brunei. But lets just say I just feel like a whole different person at uni and when Im in Brunei, its like my past swallows me up and the people there dont see me as anything more than that 14 year old.

    Including my parents.

    Like I said, Brunei isnt home for me anymore. I cant even tell you where 'home' is currently, with my mom and dad based in Kota Kinabalu and me here and so on and so forth. Is it Philippines, my home country? Here where Im doing uni and have learnt so much? Brunei, where I grew up?

    Where I still have memories of traumas and happiness and bittersweet echoes?

    I think I have to find a new home.


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