People, places, events and things pass in and out of your life. What you're left with is whatever you choose to keep.


The thing with growing up is the overwhelming contradictions that youre faced with, the number of expectations that society has of you and what you have of yourself, and then breaking that down and deciding what you truly want to be.

And its even tougher when youre growing up female.

Okay, waking up at 730 am to receive a call from one of your best friends? Probably one of the best wayes to wake up.

Ever.

Yesterday, my mother called me in the morning and she was in tears. My mother. In tears. I listened. I comforted. But it was so weird to be the one acting like an adult to the woman who's raised me and I admit that my nerves were more than a little shot after the phone call.

So theres an offer I want to accept but Im still second guessing on whether or not I should grab it or let it go by. Part of me is thrilled to bits while the other half is neutral on it all. It could be the best part of my life. Or it could very well be the worst time ever.

I guess its just funny when something youve always wanted becomes something you have. And then you have to wonder whether it really was something you always wanted in the first place.

Im pretty complacent about where life has brought me so far, and I think in a way, I really have done all I can do in this place.

Academically, Im not so bad. Extracurricular wise, Ive done it all, I think, being able to move from a soar advisor to student ambassador to student council. I've had my fun times, Ive had my tears, Ive made my friends, Ive had my loves, Ive had my life. In my circles of friends that remain here and havent left/transferred to perth or kl/ gotten terminated, Im probably the only one whos in her final year and its like, in a way, Im so done with it all. I had a good run and I feel my uni is tired of me or Im tired of it and theres not really any more left to look forward to.

Hell, I *have* been here for four years.

And now its like all I really really really want to do is either get out of here or graduate.

Whichever comes first.

Yeah.

Whichever comes first.