People need love the most when they deserve it the least.

This entry is one of bouncing thoughts. I apologise in advance for its strangeness.

At times I feel like its a slow but inevitable swirling sucking spiral breakdown, this life, but there is beauty in the breakdown, and once you've had it, once you've crashed and burned, the only real way left to go is up.

There are people who hate their lives so much that they own backup razors. That perplexes me. If you hate your life so much, its a state of mind, dont you think? FInd a way to make it more beautiful, you know? Dont just end it.

Sometimes, there is that pause in my routine where I go, whats the point? Whats the point? Whats the meaning to it all?

And then I regret asking that, because I know I'm blessed and I know that life's granted me more leeway than most people. I know that while some things I have were obtained through my own hard works, it must be admitted that the rest of it all must have been because of actions my parents, my brothers, my family, my friends, my associates, someone I met the day before. Like, if I hadnt said that to this person on that day, something wouldnt have happened. Does that make sense?

Theres an order to this chaos. There has to be. Theres too much order in the randomness for there not to be.

So I wondered whats the meaning of it all, and my friend and I were bouncing ideas off each other the whole night and we came to the totally obvious conclusion that the meaning of life, its in everything we do. Its in every step we take towards the next moment. Its not a planned play, nor is it a play by play of emotion, its just a gradual progression of day to day, minute to minute, living from one moment to the next. The meaning of life is in everything we do.

On that note, Im off to return to the fascinating world of futures and options in finance.