"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow saying, You greedy motherf*cker, Ive got nothing for you."-John Mayer


I am going pole dancing next week.

How fun is that?

My girls and I are planning to bring lots of monopoly money. Plans of stuffage and hilarity galore. And if the boys are lucky they get a free show afterwards. Hahahaha.

On that note, I have a 50% midsemester in 2 hours.

Midsemesters ruin my fun.