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Visit a new country

Travel

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    While everything around me is ever changing, ever dying, there is underlying that change a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and recreates....For I can see in the midst of death, life persists, in the midst of untruth, truth persists, in the midst of darkness light persists ~Mohandas K. Gandhi Site Fights Spirit Counter

    twenty. loud. addicted to certain fandoms. reads fanfiction. likes to twist the written word. can talk about anything under the sun (and thats the problem). This blog is a compilation of my thoughts and my life...so you know it wont be very interesting. ;)

    Tuesday, September 20, 2005

    These Words

    In my whole life I've known these truths
    That while my face may not be the prettiest
    And my voice not exactly the loveliest
    And while my wit may not be the sharpest
    My heart not the warmest
    My smile not the brightest
    I could always use another spark of talent
    I suppose I'm a born writer or have a flair for speeches
    I've always been good with words.

    My fingers, they do the magic, by keyboard or pen
    Flying over the paper, they are making beauty
    I can speak and say just the right things
    To make you smile/ To make you fall
    I can jerk a tear with the right comma
    I can poke a chuckle with the right verb
    I could make you believe I know what I believe in
    I can even make you believe in me.
    I can make you fall in love with me.
    I've always been good with words.

    "Youre too good with words"
    Said in whispers or in awe or in disbelief
    The sentence that has shaped my life.
    What teachers would say when marking my work
    What best friends would say when I showed them poems
    What mom said when I won those writing competitions
    Ironic then.
    Its exactly what you said when we broke up.

    See, you loved me first, and I had no interest
    But you were good and you were kind
    And my manipulative side flew over me
    I was good with words and I made you believe
    Perhaps to assure you as much as to convince myself
    It was like a game to get that smile and hug from you
    Which words would work best?
    Your kiss was a prize to my little word games
    I made you believe I loved you
    That I wanted you
    Before I ever really did

    For a while, it worked out, my words and your actions
    While you showed me your love, I spoke my love
    I spoke, and I wrote, and I spoke and spoke again
    Never realising that my words were becoming cheap
    That my actions were not quite getting there
    That while you believed at first
    Your ears were becoming weary
    And it was like you were seeing me in a different light
    You couldnt believe you fell for this
    You realised just how good I was with words

    It was too late by the time I really meant it
    It was too late, too late, by far
    When we were breaking up, and I said I loved you
    I said it, and I meant it, heartbreakingly, I meant it
    In your tired mind, my words sounded hollow and my tears seemed fake
    I had taken your heart and played with it for far too long
    And I know it hurt you to give my heart back
    That hurt was probably nothing
    In comparison to how I had hurt you
    When you realised
    How good I was with words.


    "Youre too good with words" you choked out
    And with that, I knew our fate
    I knew that it was over.
    How I wish now that I wasnt.
    I forgot to factor other hearts into it.
    And now I regret every syllable
    I regret every word that passed my lips
    Every sentence I played with my tongue
    I regret every letter I wrote to you that made you fall
    I was just too good with my words, I used them to keep you
    And now I dont have you
    And when i get older and I remember you and I remember us
    Its sad to admit, its heartbreaking to confess
    This is just between us, these words
    Because this is what im good at, loving is just too hard
    When Im older
    I'll have
    nothing but these words.


    -Written by me at a spur of a heartfelt moment

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