These Words

In my whole life I've known these truths
That while my face may not be the prettiest
And my voice not exactly the loveliest
And while my wit may not be the sharpest
My heart not the warmest
My smile not the brightest
I could always use another spark of talent
I suppose I'm a born writer or have a flair for speeches
I've always been good with words.

My fingers, they do the magic, by keyboard or pen
Flying over the paper, they are making beauty
I can speak and say just the right things
To make you smile/ To make you fall
I can jerk a tear with the right comma
I can poke a chuckle with the right verb
I could make you believe I know what I believe in
I can even make you believe in me.
I can make you fall in love with me.
I've always been good with words.

"Youre too good with words"
Said in whispers or in awe or in disbelief
The sentence that has shaped my life.
What teachers would say when marking my work
What best friends would say when I showed them poems
What mom said when I won those writing competitions
Ironic then.
Its exactly what you said when we broke up.

See, you loved me first, and I had no interest
But you were good and you were kind
And my manipulative side flew over me
I was good with words and I made you believe
Perhaps to assure you as much as to convince myself
It was like a game to get that smile and hug from you
Which words would work best?
Your kiss was a prize to my little word games
I made you believe I loved you
That I wanted you
Before I ever really did

For a while, it worked out, my words and your actions
While you showed me your love, I spoke my love
I spoke, and I wrote, and I spoke and spoke again
Never realising that my words were becoming cheap
That my actions were not quite getting there
That while you believed at first
Your ears were becoming weary
And it was like you were seeing me in a different light
You couldnt believe you fell for this
You realised just how good I was with words

It was too late by the time I really meant it
It was too late, too late, by far
When we were breaking up, and I said I loved you
I said it, and I meant it, heartbreakingly, I meant it
In your tired mind, my words sounded hollow and my tears seemed fake
I had taken your heart and played with it for far too long
And I know it hurt you to give my heart back
That hurt was probably nothing
In comparison to how I had hurt you
When you realised
How good I was with words.


"Youre too good with words" you choked out
And with that, I knew our fate
I knew that it was over.
How I wish now that I wasnt.
I forgot to factor other hearts into it.
And now I regret every syllable
I regret every word that passed my lips
Every sentence I played with my tongue
I regret every letter I wrote to you that made you fall
I was just too good with my words, I used them to keep you
And now I dont have you
And when i get older and I remember you and I remember us
Its sad to admit, its heartbreaking to confess
This is just between us, these words
Because this is what im good at, loving is just too hard
When Im older
I'll have
nothing but these words.

-Written by me at a spur of a heartfelt moment